-Absolute Valentine-
Police Heartbreaker

“An innocent man…a beautiful wife…terrorized by the out-of-control degenerates of the Earth…left for dead, and mercilessly broken, the man who once had it all will have to give it all up to save his own life, as well as avenge his fallen rose. Absolute Valentine presents…POLICE HEARTBREAKER. How do you deal with the case of a broken heart?”

“An innocent man…a beautiful wife…terrorized by the out-of-control degenerates of the Earth…left for dead, and mercilessly broken, the man who once had it all will have to give it all up to save his own life, as well as avenge his fallen rose. Absolute Valentine presents…POLICE HEARTBREAKER. How do you deal with the case of a broken heart?”

Now I won’t deny my love of corrupt cop movies, rogue vigilantes scouring the streets to eliminate the scum of the earth, and underground task forces dedicating to wiping the evils off of the planet. Who better to produce such an album involving a vengeful police officer than one of the best musicians around, aka, Absolute Valentine. Johann Derime is the mastermind behind the music project of much fame in the synthwave scene, producing two albums (making this album three), lending music for movies and video games and internet projects alike, he’s never had a dull or dark day. Well, except for his dull/dark music that is, and this album couldn’t be any darker.

“Bad News” is the beginning title track, I only wish it had some kind of opening narration behind it, because it really captures the imagination of an 80’s vigilante film, it’s beautiful. I could see AV (the character) walking into his ruined apartment, bloody and bruised and beaten, and seeing his only love left on the floor, more broken and beaten, as she has been murdered. But by who? How? When? And most importantly…why? Then the real movie begins, the title track “Police Heartbreaker” really puts you in a driver’s seat, as if you’re just a civilian catching up on the news, or a detective hard at work on a mastermind’s evil deeds, or maybe you’re feeling the pain AV feels, and you want as much justice as you can stomach.

“Stake Out”, the third track, is the essential “looking out for the bad guys” song, or digging up information on possible leads and suspects, the victim’s body was broken and cause of death was internal bleeding. This means a blunt object was used, and probably some kind of steel/aluminum alloy. You conclude it’s a lead pipe, and not much left to go off of, you scout locations for possible suspects. There…you see one. He’s not directly saying it, but you just know he’s guilty. He takes off running as he sees you, fear now officially shrouding him, as your aura of vengeance turns towards him. You start the ignition, and chase. “Extreme Drift” is just that, a chase. It’s a race of death, a smoking gun outrun by an iron horse fueled not just with gasoline, but a blinding spirit of rage and justice, culminating into bullets fired, yelling, blind rage, and the capture of the suspect you just know is guilty. He says nothing, and kills himself. Once again, you’re left with nothing. Now the suspect, even in death, has found a way to trap you. He killed himself with your standard-issued handgun, and that doesn’t look good on your permanent record. For all the force knows, you just killed an innocent man in fury.

“Fallen Rose” is the night drive reminiscence song, you remember she’d want you to do everything you possibly could to catch the bad guys and keep her safe. She’d want that, not murder and vengeance…but justice. Swift, final, easy justice. You feel a sense of determination rushing through your veins, mixing with your adrenaline and euphoria, you have a moment of clarity, and you identify a possible lead: the 42nd Street Breakers. “In the 42nd Street”, my personal favorite track on the entire album, nothing leaves undamaged, be it your psyche, your physical/mental condition, even your very heart and soul is tainted with the 42nd Street Breakers evil. They punish and torture and brutalize any innocents they can, it’s their part of the city, and no-one or nothing else’s. Except now it’ll be yours for the taking, as the Breakers (to you) are the guilty party, all the signs are there: blunt objects, killer instincts, merciless violence, and of course, the broken body of your wife.

The battle commences with the running engine of your modified cruiser, and with the opening of your door, and the aiming of your new rifle, three rush, two keep going, one falls, you don’t. They suffer, suffer indeed. Broken bodies, blood flowing down the drainpipes. “Out of the Void” is the song that puts all the pieces together. One confesses, then he dies of his injuries. Then…the leader appears. Dressed in battle armor and holding a heavy and wide lead pipe, with broken glass taped around and nails sticking through the inside of it. You know this won’t end well. “No Way Out” is a showdown, a broken barrier, the barrier holding your inner fury back, the barrier once keeping within itself, pure rage and violence. The rose has wilted, the stem has broken, and the battle has begun. Brutality faces off against a red sense of justice, and in the end you and the leader fall, both having reached maximum limits. Leader dies of his injuries. You see a light…you see her…she’s waiting, holding her hand. She wouldn’t want you to die without mourning her. You promise to yourself and her in heaven, where angels fly, you’ll live for her. Mourn her loss, but remember her well. “Synthwave Rider” closes the film, with the credits and AV driving off into the sunset, leaving his life and past behind, his present now, and his future unknown. This song is 8 minutes long, and one of the track I believe that best represents the entire genre, it’s simply exquisite, it’s a collection of everything I love about the 80’s. Absolute Valentine has created a masterpiece of a movie soundtrack that never was, and an album that plants its roots as a firmhold of the synthwave scene. Go check it out, do everything you can to support this guy, whether pay or donate. Even buy the album. Cheers.